In his introduction to Jordan Peterson's popular book 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, psychiatrist Norman Doidge suggests that whenever there is a party, there are usually two parties that actually take place. The first party is more formal and consists of the planned activities and small talk. The second party, which normally takes place after hours, is the place where those who want to have a deep and intimate conversation congregate. The group is smaller, the atmosphere is more relaxed, and the conversation flows more freely. The first of these parties might conceivably be a dream for extroverts, who generally get their energy from high levels of interaction with lots of people. On the other hand, the second party is the ideal situation for introverts, who thrive in smaller, more intimate settings and look for relational space to be able to tease out deep and often introspective conversations about political opinions, religious movements, and the nature of reality. As someone who trends slightly toward introversion, I might marginally enjoy the first party , but the second is where I find the greater fulfillment. Both parties are good. I just know which one I prefer.
The story of Jesus' time spent with Mary, Martha, and their brother Lazarus is well documented. Between John's account of Lazarus' death and resurrection in John 11 and Luke's story of the dynamic between the two sisters (10:38-42), it's clear that Jesus and his disciples shared their lives with this family from Bethany. In Luke's account, Martha's concern that Mary wasn't helping out with domestic tasks is something she expresses to Jesus directly - "Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to serve alone? So tell her to give me a hand” (vs. 40) - is not something you would say to a casual acquaintance, much less a celebrity guest. Jesus had been a repeated guest, this must have been a repeated pattern. Martha is in the kitchen, preparing and serving. Mary is soaking up the presence of Jesus, sitting at His feet, listening.
It is worth noticing that Jesus never condemns Martha's actions. She is being a good hostess. She is providing an environment in which people can interact. She bears the burden of their comfort. Perhaps she wishes that she could go sit at Jesus' feet, too. But if she doesn't make the food, clear the dishes, clean the counter, then who will? I know many people who feel that way. Their opportunities to socialize are restricted by the work that needs to get done. Sometimes they even feel frustrated or angry at the uneven distribution of labor. If everyone abided by the axiom, "Many hands make light work," then even they would have a chance to socialize.
Jesus places the greater value on Mary's listening ears and attentive heart. But in doing so, He doesn't devalue or disparage Martha's hard work. I believe this falls right into line with what Will Mancini says in the book I keep on talking about, Future Church. He talks about a healthy church being like a two-story house. The Lower Room is where people enter. Where they get their first impression of who God's people are. Where they start to see what we're about. The Upper Room is where God's people sit at Jesus' feet and soak in who He is. Where they hang on His every Word. Where they commune with their Maker, Savior, and Sustainer.
Mancini rightly argues that both of these rooms are valuable and truly part of the same house. We would do well to attend to both of them, and we neglect them to our own detriment and peril. The danger comes when we give undue emphasis to one over the other. In the Lower Room we find 4 P's: Place, Personality, Program, and People. Each of these are valuable components of community life. Having a building that creates space for conversations about God's plan is good. A friendly atmosphere, especially expressed by the leadership is good. Programs that are faithful and well planned can certainly lead to spiritual health and are good. Being surrounded by people we enjoy and with whom we get along is good. But without the Gospel to drive and animate them these Lower Room elements fall short of God's mission and aim.
Where the Upper Room is concerned, we can sit faithfully at Jesus' feet each day. We can be inspired to walk with Him, encouraged by His Word...and still fail to take action. If our Upper Room experiences don't translate into the way we approach both the Lower Room of the house with its elements AND the larger world, we miss the point. The Upper Room is meant to be a launching point into the world. Jesus didn't just gather His disciples...He sent them out, too! "Mary has made the right choice, [the one necessary thing]," Jesus says, "and it will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:42). But Jesus doesn't intend us to sit at His feet forever! As the Father sent Him, He also sent His disciples. He continues to send us, too, with His mission. The time we spend in the Upper Room is fuel for the mission of God: spreading His glory thought all the earth.
These two rooms and what happens there are never meant to be pitted against each other. They're designed to work in tandem. Mary and Martha can work together. There are two questions that continue to come to mind for me as I consider the practical implications for us here, questions that will continue to be on my heart as we seek the Kingdom together here at Immanuel. 1) How can we work on building the staircase from the Lower Room to the Upper Room (next steps)? and 2) How has God uniquely gifted and equipped us to be the Gospel in our place and time (a picture of the Upper Room)? I only have a part of the answers to those questions, and I believe you do, too. More importantly, the Spirit of Jesus that lives in us will continue to lead us toward a healthy dynamic between both rooms. Of this I am certain. But I believe He works in faithful, earnest, open conversations in our midst. So let's be talking about this. Let me get you a cup of coffee and let's discover together what God's up to. When we engage in such conversations, I believe we'll find joy and fulfillment in the truth of this statement:
Adventure is out there!
Pastor Aaron